CHEATER

Did you know there are only three more days of Blogtember?! So proud of all you who've stuck with me this long! Today's prompt is to write about a time you screwed up - a mistake you made.

Last time I can recall, I was in about 1st grade.

Kidding! But I did majorly screw up and cheat on a spelling test back then. To this day, it's one of my most vivid memories. I guess I wasn't prepared for the test, so I filled out a sheet with all the correctly spelled words, and placed it on the ground beside my chair (I was home-schooled at that point, so I did my work at the kitchen table). I remember my heart pounding in my chest, and feeling so nervous that my mom would catch me. I was probably acting pretty unnatural, and of course also kept sneaking peeks at the paper on the ground during the test.  I totally got caught and spanked, and I felt horrible, HORRIBLE, afterwards.  Like such a disappointment.

I've never liked breaking rules, since then. Of course there was another small bout with cheating in 9th grade geometry class... me and my friends may or may not have written formulas on our thighs and peeked at them during tests (we wore those God-awful plaid private school skirts), HOWEVER, I never got caught for that and geometry is bullshit anyway. Probably the worst subject of all time, and I knew I had no future where the Pythagorean Theorem was concerned. Quite frankly, I don't even feel bad.

But mistakes. I feel like I'm one of those people who really does live their life tiptoeing around them. I try to never make mistakes, though of course sometimes I still do. All I know now is that the mistakes I have made have always, always made me a better person and taught me a valuable lesson. So in that sense,  mistakes aren't so bad sometimes, if you don't abuse your privilege to make them.

Share your links below, if you're participating in Blogtember! :)

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COMFORT

Today's Blogtember prompt: React to this term: comfort.

Oh, comfort. My life has not been comfortable in some areas lately. I'd rather not go into detail, but trust me on that one. There have been moments where everything comfortable for me has been threatened, has felt destroyed, has been in question. But so far I’ve learned that the times I’ve been most uncomfortable have also been the times I achieved the most growth in my life and in my relationships. Comfort is not something we should seek exclusively. Where is the adventure in that? Where is the becoming-better?  If you find the only decisions you’re ever making are comfortable ones, there may be some reevaluating in order.

It’s interesting that I would pick this particular prompt for this particular day in September, some weeks ago when I made the list. Interesting, indeed.

Comfort is a nice feeling, but you’d never know what it means to lie in a truly soft place unless you’d also experienced the opposite. Be grateful for discomfort in your life, as well as comfort, because they really are two sides of the same coin, you know?

That's about the best I can come up with, for a Friday. :)

Tell us about what comfort means to you in the linkup below today's featured SOML sponsors... :)

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Miss Shanna writes a fabulous blog called Because Shanna Said So, and if you haven't heard of her yet, well... you might want to check and see if you're under a large rock! ;) Shanna is a wife and mama to two beautiful girls, an Austinite, and her blog features stories from her life and lots and lots of fantastic fashion inspiration. First get to know her a little better here, then browse some of her style posts here. You will fall in love with this lovely southern lady, I guarantee it. 

Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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Stunningly pretty Anna writes a blog called Happy Medley, and her story is quite unique. This lovely lady was born and raised in Russia, but her family moved to the states when she was a bit older - with only 8 suitcases to their name! Anna learned English, met a fellow Russian guy and started a family (how cute are they?), and she now writes a life and style blog full of "ideas for a happy and simple life." Drop in and say hello! :)

Blog | Bloglovin

HAPPY FRIDAY!

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Moments

Day 11 of Blogtember is simply a memory you'd love to relive.

And you know, I've been thinking hard about this one, and the conclusion I've come to is kind of eye opening. If I could relive a memory, it wouldn't be one of our amazing trips to Hawaii or New York or South America, or the time I lived in Germany as a child, or even a moment on my wedding day or something obvious like that.

No. I would relive a family dinner, sitting opposite my Grandma and listening to her stories. I would relive a long, tight hug, and the way she smelled and how soft her skin was. I would relive the laughter when she scoffed at a photo I took of her, and said she looked "too old" or "too wrinkly." I would relive moments with Edd, the time he told me he always wanted a daughter, the time I almost crushed him with an uncharacteristic-for-our-relationship hug when he came home from the hospital after another surgery, another scare, another close brush with death. I'd relive simple moments with people I love. And it's so eye opening to realize that those are the moments I'd choose, because they happen every day, and we take them for granted. Inspires me to slow down, experience, and enjoy the people in my life and the important things. Because people really are the important things.

Read a little more about Edd here

Read a little more about my Grandma here

What about you? What memory would you relive? (And don't worry, no one will judge you if you chose that trip to Disney or something!) ;)

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How has social media changed you?

Day 8 Blogtember topic: Discuss ways that blogging or social media has changed you.

This one is difficult for me because blogging and social media has changed my life so much that I hardly know where to begin. For the sake of this exercise, I just went back to the very first post on my very first blog - if you’re wondering, it was on July 6th, 2008. It’s interesting, because I found that my writing voice and style has actually not changed much at all since then. But boy, so many other things sure have.

Blogging and social media have had many both positive and negative effects on my life. For one thing, they’ve caused this addiction in me to share my experiences with others. I used to live my life in a solitary fashion - you know, like most people do - but now, if I can’t photograph it, instagram it, tweet it, blog it, share it with the world, it almost feels like it wasn’t even worth doing. It’s such a strange thing, and when I put it that way, it sounds sort of negative (not to mention pathetic). But I find that in my life, this is a good thing. I am naturally disinclined to change, grow, experience new things, and get out of my comfort zone. Blogging and social media have helped me be less that way. Because, you know, my blog would be boring as hell if I remained a sad stagnant hermit covered in dog hair who mostly never leaves the house.

A second way that blogging, in particular, has changed me, is that it’s given me confidence I never, ever had before. I specifically remember being at the grocery store one day, a few months after I started Story of My Life and after I had picked up a few dozen or maybe a couple hundred readers by then. I remember noticing I had this extra spring in my step, and a stronger sense of self than I had ever had before. I remember noticing that and then immediately attributing it to my blog. People cared what I had to say, my great passion for writing was being affirmed, and I was connecting with people in a way I was missing in my “real” life! It just generally felt really nice. To have found a niche, a hobby, and something I knew I could excel at.

Social media has also caused me to be really freaking ADD/all-over-the-place, which I discussed in this post (the response to it was pretty incredible… so many of us suffer with this!). Since I already talked about it, I won’t go into anymore detail on that one. I’m getting a LITTLE better about this though. Re-training myself to focus when I really need to. It’s not easy.

And finally, this conversation would be so incomplete if I didn’t mention the way that blogging and social media have had an incredibly globalizing effect on my life - meaning, it’s brought the entire world right here into MY world. The things I have learned have been countless. The relationships I’ve made have been priceless. The art and talent I’ve been exposed to have been inspiring and invaluable. Basically, it's all made a giant world feel so much smaller and less intimidating. Maybe that’s the optimist in me talking. But I think it mainly just comes from a place of genuine passion for social media and other humans and their endless abilities to share and create.

What about you? How has blogging and social media changed you? Speak up in a comment or in the linkup below!

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One click changed it all

Blogtember Day 6. Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn. I'm not really going with the obvious answer for this one. I could say something like "the day I met my husband," and that would most certainly be a time my life took a complete 180 degree turn, but I've already told that story. You can read it here, if you fancy.

No, the defining moment I wanted to write about today was so much more subtle. I didn't fully understand it at the time, but now I see that moment as the beginning of something really important in my life. It was in late October of 2010, and I attended a family Halloween party. I was snapping photos with my little point-and-shoot digital camera, but then my mother-in-law asked me to take a few of her and her mom, since they both had cute costumes on. She handed me her DSLR camera, and I started snapping.

photo cred: Smitten Imagery

It's not very often that you remember the way you actually felt in a particular moment years in the past, or remember the actual thoughts that went through your mind. It must be an exceptional feeling or thought, whether positive or negative, to cause it to stand out among a million other memories. But that's how I remember that moment. As something very quietly exceptional. I fell in love with the way that camera felt in my hands. I fell in love with the sound of the shutter clicking as I snapped. It felt as though some tiny little light snapped on, like something woke up inside me that I hadn't previously known existed.

And then I proceeded to badger my husband for the entire month of November, until he purchased me a DSLR for my birthday. ;)

Since then I've taken plenty of bad pictures, tried to sell some of those bad pictures on Etsy (hahahahah), experimented with editing styles that make me cringe to look back on, started a business, done things wrong, done things right, made great friends in my clients, and continue to learn and grow along the way. I've realized that you don't just go from zero to incredibly amazing as a photographer (or anything, for that matter) overnight. It takes lots and lots of time and practice and hard work and honing that only comes from time and practice and hard work. I am nowhere near where I'd like to be as a photographer. But do I feel completely in my element? YES! And I can trace it all back to that one little moment back in October of 2010, when my life took a turn. Funny how that works sometimes... ;) Tell us about your turning points in the link up below. Happy Tuesday!

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Where my ENFPs at

Day five of Blogtember! Take this short personality test and respond to your results. (more detailed info on the Blogtember prompts post)

Dress: c/o Hazel & Olive | Belt: Target | Necklace: c/o Moorea Seal | Bag: Target

Hope you all had a nice and restful weekend! We're back at Blogtember today, and I hope that even those of you who are simply quiet readers or not participating in the writing challenge will still complete the Jung typology test and determine your profile type. It's really quite interesting! I've mentioned it here briefly before, so some of you may have already completed the test.

I'm an ENFP. ENFP through and through! My jaw must have hit the floor when I took this test for the first time. It pegged me so perfectly that it was almost weird. Both my good traits, and my bad ones. Then I had Matthew take the test too, and it was actually one of the best things we've ever done for our relationship, funny enough. To see some of those qualities we both admire and, let's face it, despise in each other written out like that, all scientific-like, was so, so interesting. It has actually helped us to accept one another's strengths and weaknesses, and move on a bit from focusing on the negative so much. (he is an INTJ, by the way!)

Here's just a few points that really stood out to me as true about myself:

"Because ENFPs live in a world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivious to these types of tasks. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members." - from here

-Things like cooking and cleaning are extremely difficult for me to focus on. It was interesting to learn that this is a very strong characteristic of my personality type.

"ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Sometimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped." - from here

-This could not be more true! Matthew and I had a laugh at this one. Often late at night I turn into a very annoying and silly other-version of myself, like some sort of weird split personality. I have no idea why. Must just be an ENFP thing! ;)

"One ENFP colleague, a social worker, had such tremendous interpersonal skills that she put her interviewers at ease during her own job interview. She had the ability to make strangers feel like old friends." - from here

-Specifically that last line rings true for me. I connect with almost everyone I meet. My #1 goal is always to make people feel accepted, admired, and like a friend.

"ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing." from here

-All the above ring so true for me. I've always wanted to work for myself. I do really well on things I'm excited about. I am basically a really happy person, and I don't stress a lot. The times in my life when I've been least happy are when I've been "confined to schedules or mundane tasks." 

I could keep going, but those are some of the major ones I wanted to respond to about my type. Hope you all enjoyed this exercise as much as I did! 

Dress: c/o Hazel & Olive | Belt: Target | Necklace: c/o Moorea Seal | Bag: Target

*I recommend putting your letter personality type in the link title, so people with the same type can meet others like them! :)

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Call me Unsolicited Advice Girl

Blogtember Day 3. Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered. 

Advice. I'm drawing a blank on this one! The funny thing is, I am a chronic unsolicited advice-giver. Oh, you have a problem? I know just the thing you should do!  And I will share it with you, even if you didn't ask! This trait has gotten me into trouble a couple of times. It's in my nature to want to help make things better for people, so I give advice. But some people just want to be listened to. Maybe that's my advice today. Some people just want to be listened to. They just want you to say, "yeah, that must be really tough. I'm so sorry you're going through that." Sometimes they don't want to be given an entire roadmap with detailed instructions on how to maneuver their current situation and come out on the other side, a better and more successful human. Even if you feel you can offer that. Some people just want to be heard.

ALSO. Here's something my dentist once told me, and it was life-altering. Think you don't have bad breath? When you floss your teeth, smell the floss. Particularly if you don't floss often. It will scare the shit out of you into flossing, I promise. Sorry that's gross, but you might've needed to hear it.

You're welcome. That is all.

Shirt: Ruche, Jeans: J. Crew, Necklace: c/o Noonday Collection, Boots: Langford Market

Side note: Have you heard of Noonday Collection? I love me a good company-with-a-cause. Proudly wearing a piece from them in today's outfit post. Check them out. (the lookbook is stunning!)

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Share your advice posts below! :) Happy Thursday!

and PS - did you see Bonnie's guest post just before this one, on 10 Not-So-Obvious Blogging Tips? Talk about great ADVICE! Check it out.

***If the link list below isn't showing up for you, clear your temporary internet files and it should work! :)***

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What I come from

Day 1 of Blogtember! I've been so excited to see bloggers getting pumped over this challenge. If you're participating, I hope you enjoy the topics and make lots of new friends this month! Or if you're just reading along, as always, WELCOME and THANK YOU. Hope you enjoy the topics as much as I have a feeling I'll enjoy writing on them. You can expect some other routine SOML posts as well, so get ready for a busy month around here! :)

Today's prompt asks that you describe where or what you come from. The people, the places, and/or the factors that make up who you are.

Several months ago now I sat down to dinner with my sweet late grandma, who was perfectly healthy at the time but gone just a few short weeks later after a blood vessel burst in her brain. She's the beauty in the photo above, taken on her wedding day. Those of you reading a while now may remember that time and how my family’s heart broke with grief that she was gone. I still miss her every single day. But I remember that dinner like it was yesterday, and how I laughed because she was being her usual sweet and spunky self and said something silly and sarcastic, and I remember feeling so proud of the type of women I come from. Women that stand up for themselves and speak their mind and have an opinion of their own but are also kind and expressive and demonstrative and intelligent and strong and full of empathy and good humor. I felt overwhelmed with this pride in my grandma and also a desire to be more and more like her.  So much of who I am today seems to have been passed to me straight down the line from my grandma and mom - everything from migraines to mood swings to gaining weight in the ass region. But I couldn’t be more proud to come from them. 

I guess this discussion wouldn’t be complete, though, without saying that there’s a little bit of darkness there too, in where I come from. I come from hardworking and passionate people, yes, but I’ve learned a lot about my family on both sides and I also know that we are prone to addiction, mental illness, and disfunctionality of many kinds. I feel that in myself, sometimes. People who are close to me see it there, twinges of it. Many of the people I come from are profoundly empathatic and feel things very deeply, but we tend to have poor follow-through in relationships, scary tempers, and unhealthy levels of ego. So basically, it’s an intersting concoction, my blood. A funny mix of light and dark I always feel competing in me.  But in the words of Sirius Black, “we’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.” 

There's so many ways to interpret this prompt, and I could go on and on. But I'll leave it at that for now.  Can't wait to see what everyone else has to say... leave your links below! :)

*note: the scroll bar may not show up on your computer, but this list is enclosed in a scroll window, so be sure and scroll with your mouse to see the full list!

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Friday thoughts

Matthew and I watched about two hours of crime shows before we went to bed last night - kind of grizzly stuff about serial killers and rapists and women being attacked and going missing. And then we went to bed, and it turns out that shit affected us more than we thought, because he had a horrible nightmare about me being abducted and murdered and stuffed into a trash shoot, and then when he woke me up to cuddle, I was disoriented and confused and thought he was an intruder coming to murder me, and I almost clobbered him. I didn’t know why he was being so sweet and tender at the time, but I wondered if he could hear my heart pounding before I settled into his arms and drifted back off to sleep.

I don’t really know why I’m telling that story, but I guess because I’m feeling so grateful this morning. I know we live in a world full of a lot of horror, and in a strange way it was nice to be reminded of our fears - sometimes your greatest fears help you to realize what you value and cherish most deeply. It’s always a good thing, to be reminded of that.

Matthew starts an internship with the Supreme Court of Texas today.  I still smell his cologne on my pjs from our hug before he left. I am so proud of him.  And I just wanted to say that, because I feel it more than ever this morning.

Sorry for my rambling. Check out today's featured SOML sponsors - maybe they'll have something a little more cohesive to say than I do! ;) Happy Friday...

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Rachel is the mastermind behind the sweet blog Postcards from Rachel - I think you'll really love this one! The blog started while Rachel and her husband were expats living in Scotland, but now documents their time living back in the States. You can go right over here for an excellent introduction to Postcards from Rachel, and if you're on Instagram, you may find today's post really useful and fun, too!

Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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Serendipitous Whimsicality is an adorable blog co-authored by two adorable best friends, Ellie and Fatima. I really enjoyed this post by Ellie about her recent trip to Guatemala (more posts on the trip here!). These two also produce the occasional fashion and travel posts. Drop by and say hello to these two cute bloggers! :)

Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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The Mermaid Chronicles is a favorite blog of mine by the ever-lovely Devon, an incredible writer, photographer, and surfer. Her words and photos tell a story that draws you in and keeps you there. Check out her amazing sailing trip to the Seychelles, and don't miss today's tour of her and her husband's adorable beach-bungalow-themed home. The before and after photos are stunning. Apparently we can add interior decorator to Devon's list of talents, as well!  ;)

Blog | Instagram | Bloglovin

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Have a great weekend! 

follow here! Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Bloglovin | Pinterest | Photography

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So, what's your thing?

photo cred: Smitten Imagery

Last night I was thinking, like I sometimes do, and I was thinking about my “thing” and other people’s “things” and whether or not everyone actually has a “thing.” Allow me to explain with an example. We were watching the news the other day, and there was a story about these deep water divers that go down without any oxygen - they train themselves to hold their breath for three, four plus minutes at a time, and they try to break world records or their own records or what have you - and that’s their thing! They love to see how long they can go and how deep they can get without coming up for air. Personally, that sounds like the most terrifying and worst possible way I could spend my time and enegy, but those particular people love it. 

For me, my thing is writing. Or at least that was the thing that sparked other things that have entered my life, like blogging and now photography. Writing has been a part of my life literally as long as I can remember. It’s always been part of my identity. I was writing little stories and books and poems ever since I was a little kid, and people would always tell me I should be a writer someday.  When you have a passion, and you’re doing it, there’s almost no greater high feeling. The only thing comparable for me might be eating a Gourdough’s doughnut. But I digress.

You see all these inspirational quotes everywhere, like “follow your bliss” and “if your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough,” and stuff like that, but sometimes I think what about the people who don’t have a dream? Who weren’t born with that one thing they love doing and really fulfills them? What about them? I imagine it would be a strange feeling, when you see the world carrying on so much about “following your passions” when that doesn’t seem to really apply to you.

But as I was tumbling this little thought process along in my head, I think I came to the conclusion that I believe everyone really DOES have a thing. Even though it may be uncultivated or undiscovered yet. Maybe right now, it’s just something you really appreciate and admire. I always used to really appreciate and admire great photography, but never really imagined becoming a photographer myself, until that one day I felt a DSLR camera in my hands for the first time and something woke up inside me, as dumb as that sounds. 

So if you’re one of those people without a defined passion yet, I guess I just wanted to say to you that I believe it’s there somewhere, waiting to be uncovered. A God-given talent or predisposition that will feel really good to find and will give your life extra purpose and excitement. It’s scary and awesome all at once. I hope you find it.

What about YOU? What is your thing? Do you have one yet, or not? Do you think people without a “thing” yet can still find one? It’s so interesting to hear about people’s passions. Like the freaks divers that like to hold their breath for extended periods of time and almost die on a regular basis, we are all unique, and I love to hear about what makes other’s tick. 

Happy Hump Day!

follow here! Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Bloglovin | Pinterest | Photography

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I filed for inbox bankruptcy (& an important SOML announcement)

photo cred: Smitten Imagery

The other day I was driving along in my car when I started making a mental tally of all the places I have information and interactions pelting me all day, every day. I counted four email addresses (one personal, one for the blog, one where all blog comments go, and one for my photography biz). Then there's three Facebook accounts with three direct message inboxes and three walls to watch. Then Instagram, Twitter, and phone calls and text messages from friends and family. And of course that's not even counting media like blogs, websites and TV (don't really watch the latter though). Basically, I said to myself, I said "NO WONDER I'M SUCH A CLUSTER F*** ALL THE TIME." That's a lot of correspondence flying around, and it's all right at my fingertips in my smart phone! Hard not to check it a gazillion times a day, and leave your brain in twenty different places in the process.

I know this "issue" is commonplace with bloggers and business owners who are heavy on the social media, so this isn't so much a complaint as it is just an observation. But I've been trying to come up with ways to simplify my life some, where possible. Take some of the strain off, especially as I'm about to enter the busiest season my photography business has ever seen. 

My main issue, though, is that lately I've been feeling like such an asshole because I just haven't had time to reply to blog comments. I've never had time to reply to every single one, but I used to reply a lot more than I do now. I've tried to educate people about how to add your email address to your blogger profile to make comment replies more streamlined, but I know I'll never solve that problem, and the lack of continuity continues to bug me - it has this weird psychological effect. If the replying can't just be simple and all the same way (all via email or all in the thread), I don't want to do it! So I get behind, and then things in that comment inbox I mentioned get scary. I've been wanting to clear it out for a long time now, and just start over, and last night I finally did. AND IT FELT SO GOOD. It's not that I didn't read those comments, because I totally did. But I just wanted to connect with some of you on them, and there were some questions in there I missed, so I kept those marked as unread. Bottom line, it got too out of hand before I was able to get to it, and I get overwhelmed easily. Matthew makes fun of me because usually when I get really overwhelmed, instead of facing the problem and chipping away at fixing it, I'll just take a nap instead. I guess that's what I've been doing with that inbox.

So aaaalllll that to say, I'm really sorry if you said something awesome in a comment lately, or asked me a question, and I didn't respond to you. Please feel free to email me any questions I may have missed! And from now on, I've made a new rule for myself and my blog. I know this might not be the popular choice with everyone, but when I have time to reply, from now on I am going to do it 100% in the comment thread on my blog. This means you will have to come back and see if I replied, yes. Probably a little bit annoying for those of you who are used to getting email replies, yes. Some of you may never come back to see if I replied, and I will be wasting my time, yes. But for the sake of my own sanity, I have to make this change, and I think it will be good for all of us. You'll hear back from me more, I won't feel like an asshole all the time, and I'll have one less inbox full of unread messages to worry about. Sweet.

I started this up on the post yesterday, about the deli in San Antonio, so if you left a comment there, I wrote you a note back! I can't promise to reply on 100% of all comments in the future, especially on those occasional posts that get a huge response, but I would love to connect with you all a little more than I am currently, even if that means picking one or two posts a week to reply to comments on, or a few especially nice comments here and there. I don't really know what I'll have time for. But I think anything is better than my current system. I'll give this a trial for now! :)

Sorry for the rambling this morning... now take a moment to check out today's featured SOML sponsors, and have yourself a fantastic weekend! 

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Ashton is the brains behind Landing on Love, and this girl is the sweetest soul - can't you just tell? She happens to be a fellow Austin blogger, and her blog is a little bit of everything, from style posts (how cute is she??), to the occasional recipe, to a DIY or two! I think you'll like this sweet blog - go say hi to Ashton, and let her know I sent you! 

Blog | Instagram | Twitter

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Meet Jenn, The Stylish Housewife! As the blog title might suggest, miss Jenn is a fashionable stay-at-home momma with tons of personality and most definitely an enviable closet. You can expect fun outfit of the day posts (I love this one!) and occasional beauty product reviews from Jenn - I think you will love this stylish lady.

 Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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Allow me to introduce you to Nicole and her lovely space on the web, Treasure Tromp. This amazing lady is a California girl at heart but currently resides in South Africa! Cool huh? She's working on a PhD in Psychology and, well... go here and learn a little more! Also, check out some other top posts here, and get a taste of what Treasure Tromp is all about. Enjoy! :)

Blog | Facebook | Twitter

Happy FRIDAY!

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Do you have a budget?

I hardly feel qualified to talk about budgeting. Actually, scratch that. I'm not qualified at all. Matthew and I literally started hardcore budgeting about, oh, maybe four days ago? Five? BUT I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT, I had to share. Not even kidding! My mom said I must have the budgeting gene. She has it, and my Grandma had it too. Budgets excite us in this line of women. For some reason, a budget makes the budgeter (or me, anyway), feel a sense of control and peace. Control and peace? I don't know about you, but I need more of that in my life!

Anyway, most of you know Matthew is in law school. He's pretty much done now, but won't officially take the bar and be a lawyer until next year. Right now, the income I earn through my blog and my photography business is mostly carrying us - scary, but super cool all at once. Bottom line, though, is that things are going to be tight for a while. So we made a realistic list of every single expense we have per month, and then we both got this cool app on our phones called Easy Envelope Budget Aid, which you can sync between more than one phone. (I'm not being paid to say this or anything - that's just the first app I found that had good ratings and seemed like it'd do the trick for us!) We can fill different "envelopes" with the budgeted amount for that month, and every time one of us pays a bill or spends in a category like "groceries," we'll write it in and the app subtracts the amount from the applicable envelope! It even tells you if you're on track with your spending, so you can either slow down or feel guilt-free about that purchase. For example, right now in our Entertainment & Dining Out envelope, a little message tells us "you're behind by 36.97. Stop spending for 4 days?" Oops!

It's just a cool system that lets you see how you're doing throughout the month. If you have trouble with saving, keeping track of where your money goes, or conflict in your relationship due to money, you really do need a budget. It's freeing. I attended a budgeting workshop by Eric and Kelsey from Words of Williams at Texas Style Council, and I'm so thankful for the inspiration they provided me. Kelsey said something during the workshop that I jotted down: "budgeting gives you permission to spend your own money." I liked that, because I struggle with guilt every time I spend. I have a feeling this new system will really help with that. (Oh, and if you'd like to read the Williams' story about paying off almost 40 grand in debt in under two years, go here! Inspiring!)

Do you have any budgeting words of wisdom? Cool apps or programs that work well for you? Do share!

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Happy.

The other day Matthew came home from school and announced that he was a changed man. He had watched a documentary on Netflix called “Happy,” and he had decided that he was ready to try lots of new things and have lots of new experiences. According the documentary, intentional behaviors and novel experiences make up a whopping 40% of one’s total happiness, and Matthew says he’s ready to claim that slice of his pie, so to speak.

This brand new outlook of his pleased me greatly. I am all about trying new things and having new experiences (maybe that’s why I’m a generally happy person?), and thus far, I often didn’t feel I had him on board with me in that regard. I mean, I totally understand that he’s been a little busy with law school the past couple of years, so he got a free pass for a while. But now that school is winding down (he only has two more weeks, omg), things are about to get real. Pretty soon maybe we’ll have some semblance of a normal life, and we’ll be able to incorporate normal activities and habits into our lives. We have grand plans about how fantastic that will be. But happiness only exists in the right now, right? You have to figure out how to be that now, or you’ll never figure out how to be it.

So out of curiousity, I watched the Happy documentary, too. Have you seen it? It’s a few years old now, I believe. (Here's a short trailer.) I was both intrigued and touched by it. It covers happiness research over the last 25+ years and people’s stories all over the globe, and it was just so great to be reminded that there’s so much more beyond our little bubbles, so many other ways to be and so many other definitions of happiness. According the research, only 10% of our happiness comes from things like our wealth, our health, our jobs, and our social status.  50% of our happiness comes from our genetic makeup, which I found especially interesting. The documentarly claims that most of us are born with a set happiness range that we typically fall into, regardless of whether good or bad things happen to us. I find that to be pretty true with myself and people in my life.

And the final 40% is that intentional behavior. Researchers recommend making even the tiniest changes in your routine, like running a different route on your jog or going to a different grocery store or what have you. It’s all about tricking your brain to produce more dopamine, the happiness chemical.  So if you’re someone who often finds themself in a rut or even depressed or just not as happy as you’d like to be, perhaps try signing up for a cooking or pottery or watercolor class, or hitting up a new lunch spot, or just taking a different route on your drive home. Worth a shot. ;)

What type of activities do you find make you most happy? Personally, I get a mini-happiness-high whenever I’m around dogs, beautifully presented food, and when I’m doing things that fulfill me, like writing and photography. It also feels really great to connect with other humans - whether they be people already in my life, or someone I just met in line at the grocery store.

Hope you have a happy Wednesday. :)

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After the rain

We dont get a lot of rain here in Texas, so when we do, it’s kind of like a special occasion.  To me, anyway. There’s nothing I love more than a good thunderstorm and the sound of rain and the way the house goes all dark and cozy and candles and hot tea become suddenly quite necessary. It's been stormy all week, so I've been in bliss.  Today it's sunny out, though, and I’m writing this on Ommwriter Dana II, with ambient sounds #6 playing in my earphones, which involves wind and rain. And drip, drip, drip at the sound of each keystroke (#7). It’s pretty heavenly, I’m not gonna lie. Now all I need is some blackout curtains and I can recreate my rain storm anytime I please. :)

I had a mini photo session this morning, and I picked a little handful of these pretty white lilies (or lily lookalikes, I don’t claim to be a flower expert). They smell so nice, and I’m sure they’re the result of all this rain we’ve had. I’ll enjoy them all throughout the day as I edit photos. Loving life today. Happy Friday to you, and enjoy your weekend…

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Take a moment to visit today’s featured SOML sponsors! These ladies are fabulous. :)



Allow me to introduce you to Stephanie, the brains behind a blog called Newlyweds: North. Stephanie and her new husband just moved from way down South in South Caroline all the way up North to Maine, and this blog is all about their new adventures together in a brand new land. Read a little more about the move here, a little more about Stephanie and Justin here, and you might as well go check out their stunning wedding photos here, too. OH, and one more thing! Total house envy over their gorgeous New England home. Check it out here. Have fun! 

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Via Fontanelle is a fantastic military family blog by a cool lady named Amy. Amy is married to an Army guy named Steve, and they have not two, not three, but FOUR children together... oh and they also happen to live overseas in Italy right now! :) It's so much fun to follow this family's adventures, and for a perfect little introduction to their story, check out Amy's welcome post for you today! Right over here is one of Amy's most popular posts (kids do the darndest things)... so go check it out and get to know this fabulous family! 

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Mom's Pure Wisdom

I was recently presented with the opportunity to work with Nestlé® Pure Life® on their Mom's Pure Wisdom/Hydration Movement campaign, and it just seemed like such a natural extension of something I already wanted to talk about... so I jumped at the opportunity! 

During a time when my step dad Edd's suffering was at its hardest and ugliest, I remember talking to my mom one day about things going on in my life, and I remember feeling sheepish and hesitant to mention some of what I was struggling with because here she was, watching her husband suffer intensely and ultimately slip away, so what right did I have to talk about my petty "problems?" I said to her, "I know it's nothing compared to what you guys are going through, so..." and she stopped me right there and said something that made a big impact on me. It was along the lines of, "Jenni, I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me what's going on in your life because you feel it doesn't compare to what I'm going through. We all have our own struggles and they are all important, and I never want anyone to feel like their problems aren't big enough to matter because they don't measure up to mine or someone else's."

What she said made an impact on me for a number of reasons, because here she was, someone going through something more excruciating than you can imagine, and she was saying that my problems were important, too, and they were not diminished by the magnitude of hers.

So why am I saying all this? I guess I've been thinking about it a lot lately because, especially here on the Internet, it can be so tempting to belittle others who complain about problems we feel are petty or that aren't as big and bad as our problems or the next guy's problems - believe me, I've been there, done that. "What right do you have to complain when you could be having ___(fill in the blank)__ happen to you?" And there is something to be said for perspective, most definitely. I think we should all consider our blessings before we whine, especially publicly. But my mom, in that moment that she validated my feelings in the midst of her own much "worse" problems, helped me realize that it truly does others a disservice if we act like they have no right to feel what they feel since there are others going through worse things. There will always be someone who has it worse, just like there will always be someone with something bigger and better than what you have. We are all human beings in this life thing together, and we are all learning perspective and coping and strength along the way, whether our problems are big or small in comparison. Just a little something to chew on today, and to remember going forward.

*This post is sponsored by Nestlé® Pure Life® and is part of a campaign to promote hydration (as well as mom's wisdom!). Please be sure and visit the Nestlé® Pure Life® Facebook wall and leave a comment with the hashtag #momswisdom sharing what your mother (or grandmother!) told you and how it has made you a better person. :)

*Thank you to Linquia for the opportunity and ideas!

HAPPY WEEKEND!!

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