My Family in My Life: family

Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Monday, September 30, 2013

Something Old

The last day of the Blogtember Challenge! We're about to be back to our regularly scheduled programming around here, and I'm OK with that. As per usual, I struggled with committing to a whole month-long deal, but it was good for me, and obviously I HAD to see it through, since I hosted! I had so much fun working through the prompts with many of you this month, and I hope you did too. :) And now, for the last day. Share a photo of something old. Maybe something that has personal history for you, that was passed down to you, and that has special meaning to you. Tell us about it and why it's special.

This was my sweet late grandma's HIGH SCHOOL ring. My mom brought it back after the funeral along with some other keepsakes of my Grandma's, and I claimed this one. I wear it almost every single day, and think of her whenever I put it on. "Peg" is engraved on the inside, which makes it even more special and personal... I feel a little closer to her when I wear it. It gives me courage and peace when I'm feeling anxious about something, and I love to imagine her going about her day some 60 years ago, wearing this ring that I now wear, never imagining how much it would mean to her granddaughter when she was gone. Love you and miss you so much, Grandma. Always.

Moments

Day 11 of Blogtember is simply a memory you'd love to relive.

And you know, I've been thinking hard about this one, and the conclusion I've come to is kind of eye opening. If I could relive a memory, it wouldn't be one of our amazing trips to Hawaii or New York or South America, or the time I lived in Germany as a child, or even a moment on my wedding day or something obvious like that.

No. I would relive a family dinner, sitting opposite my Grandma and listening to her stories. I would relive a long, tight hug, and the way she smelled and how soft her skin was. I would relive the laughter when she scoffed at a photo I took of her, and said she looked "too old" or "too wrinkly." I would relive moments with Edd, the time he told me he always wanted a daughter, the time I almost crushed him with an uncharacteristic-for-our-relationship hug when he came home from the hospital after another surgery, another scare, another close brush with death. I'd relive simple moments with people I love. And it's so eye opening to realize that those are the moments I'd choose, because they happen every day, and we take them for granted. Inspires me to slow down, experience, and enjoy the people in my life and the important things. Because people really are the important things.

Read a little more about Edd here

Read a little more about my Grandma here

What about you? What memory would you relive? (And don't worry, no one will judge you if you chose that trip to Disney or something!) ;)

What I come from

Day 1 of Blogtember! I've been so excited to see bloggers getting pumped over this challenge. If you're participating, I hope you enjoy the topics and make lots of new friends this month! Or if you're just reading along, as always, WELCOME and THANK YOU. Hope you enjoy the topics as much as I have a feeling I'll enjoy writing on them. You can expect some other routine SOML posts as well, so get ready for a busy month around here! :)

Today's prompt asks that you describe where or what you come from. The people, the places, and/or the factors that make up who you are.

Several months ago now I sat down to dinner with my sweet late grandma, who was perfectly healthy at the time but gone just a few short weeks later after a blood vessel burst in her brain. She's the beauty in the photo above, taken on her wedding day. Those of you reading a while now may remember that time and how my family’s heart broke with grief that she was gone. I still miss her every single day. But I remember that dinner like it was yesterday, and how I laughed because she was being her usual sweet and spunky self and said something silly and sarcastic, and I remember feeling so proud of the type of women I come from. Women that stand up for themselves and speak their mind and have an opinion of their own but are also kind and expressive and demonstrative and intelligent and strong and full of empathy and good humor. I felt overwhelmed with this pride in my grandma and also a desire to be more and more like her. So much of who I am today seems to have been passed to me straight down the line from my grandma and mom - everything from migraines to mood swings to gaining weight in the ass region. But I couldn’t be more proud to come from them.

I guess this discussion wouldn’t be complete, though, without saying that there’s a little bit of darkness there too, in where I come from. I come from hardworking and passionate people, yes, but I’ve learned a lot about my family on both sides and I also know that we are prone to addiction, mental illness, and disfunctionality of many kinds. I feel that in myself, sometimes. People who are close to me see it there, twinges of it. Many of the people I come from are profoundly empathatic and feel things very deeply, but we tend to have poor follow-through in relationships, scary tempers, and unhealthy levels of ego. So basically, it’s an intersting concoction, my blood. A funny mix of light and dark I always feel competing in me. But in the words of Sirius Black, “we’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”

There's so many ways to interpret this prompt, and I could go on and on. But I'll leave it at that for now. Can't wait to see what everyone else has to say... leave your links below! :)

*note: the scroll bar may not show up on your computer, but this list is enclosed in a scroll window, so be sure and scroll with your mouse to see the full list!

Back at the Prairie

This weekend I headed back to the Prairie (remember the last time? part 1, part 2) for a nice getaway in celebration of my mom-in-law's birthday. As per usual, the place was completely divine. We stayed in the same house as last time, though next I vow to try one of the smaller cottages and go alone, to just soak in all the quiet and peace and beauty. Bring a book, read, write, give myself permission to not take any pictures. Sounds pretty nice.

Here's a few snapshots from the weekend because, you know, I just couldn't help myself...

Hope your week is off to a splendid start!

Mom's Pure Wisdom

I was recently presented with the opportunity to work with Nestlé® Pure Life® on their Mom's Pure Wisdom/Hydration Movement campaign, and it just seemed like such a natural extension of something I already wanted to talk about... so I jumped at the opportunity!

During a time when my step dad Edd's suffering was at its hardest and ugliest, I remember talking to my mom one day about things going on in my life, and I remember feeling sheepish and hesitant to mention some of what I was struggling with because here she was, watching her husband suffer intensely and ultimately slip away, so what right did I have to talk about my petty "problems?" I said to her, "I know it's nothing compared to what you guys are going through, so..." and she stopped me right there and said something that made a big impact on me. It was along the lines of, "Jenni, I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me what's going on in your life because you feel it doesn't compare to what I'm going through. We all have our own struggles and they are all important, and I never want anyone to feel like their problems aren't big enough to matter because they don't measure up to mine or someone else's."

What she said made an impact on me for a number of reasons, because here she was, someone going through something more excruciating than you can imagine, and she was saying that my problems were important, too, and they were not diminished by the magnitude of hers.

So why am I saying all this? I guess I've been thinking about it a lot lately because, especially here on the Internet, it can be so tempting to belittle others who complain about problems we feel are petty or that aren't as big and bad as our problems or the next guy's problems - believe me, I've been there, done that. "What right do you have to complain when you could be having ___(fill in the blank)__ happen to you?" And there is something to be said for perspective, most definitely. I think we should all consider our blessings before we whine, especially publicly. But my mom, in that moment that she validated my feelings in the midst of her own much "worse" problems, helped me realize that it truly does others a disservice if we act like they have no right to feel what they feel since there are others going through worse things. There will always be someone who has it worse, just like there will always be someone with something bigger and better than what you have. We are all human beings in this life thing together, and we are all learning perspective and coping and strength along the way, whether our problems are big or small in comparison. Just a little something to chew on today, and to remember going forward.

*This post is sponsored by Nestlé® Pure Life® and is part of a campaign to promote hydration (as well as mom's wisdom!). Please be sure and visit the Nestlé® Pure Life® Facebook wall and leave a comment with the hashtag #momswisdom sharing what your mother (or grandmother!) told you and how it has made you a better person. :)

*Thank you to Linquia for the opportunity and ideas!

HAPPY WEEKEND!!

Celebrations

Yesterday we had a really nice time celebrating Father's Day and Matthew's grandma's birthday at the in-laws' lake house. I have lots to get to this morning, so I'll let the photos do the talking. :) Happy Monday to you...

damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

A thousand words

Day 28. Only pictures. As you likely already know, I'm here in Florida visiting family this week, so these are photos from the sunny Sunshine State. :) Happy Tuesday...

I miss...

Blog Every Day in May topic: What do you miss?

I sat down to write this post and, as usual when I try to tackle this topic, I was left with the proverbial lump in my throat and no right words. So instead of words, I decided to make a little video of what I miss. It probably would have been easier to just write the post, since I must have cried 47 times while putting this together. Maybe it won't mean as much to you if you're not a part of my family, but if you've been following this blog long enough, well... I suppose you might as well be a part of my family. :) Here's a little tribute to the things I miss...

I miss... from Jenni D on Vimeo.

*music on this video is called "The Winner Is" from the Little Miss Sunshine movie soundtrack

*read a little more about people I've lost here - start at the end, if you're new around these parts

Homeless

I don't even know where to begin. It feels so strange to say this, but as of this morning, we are officially homeless. Signed over our beautiful home to a new family. Left all of the blood, sweat, and tears in the past behind us. Closed a chapter. Wiped the slate clean.

Or more accurately, we have officially sold our home and moved in with my poor mother. ;) Even though this process has consumed my life for the last month, I haven't written about it here for safety and privacy reasons, but now that the home is in the new buyer's posession, I'm free as a bird to lay down this burden of information. Do you know what it's like to have a blog called "Story of My Life" and not be able to share this massive thing going on behind the scenes?! Ha! It feels weird, that's how it feels. I'm not very good at keeping secrets... we're talking sweaty palms and nervous trembling here. I would never pass a lie detector test. Any time I try to be sneaky, I get caught. So it's been weird keeping this from my blog.

Truth be told, I am beyond exhausted. Too tired to feel very much emotion. Matthew and I did the work of five burly men and a team of housekeepers in one four day weekend by ourselves. Every night we fell into bed, bruised, sometimes bleeding, feet and back and hips and shoulders so sore we could barely walk, and then we started over again the next day. I feel like a 70 year old woman, and if I feel that way, I can't even imagine how Matthew feels. That man never ceases to amaze me. He did all the hardest work for us, and now he has finals to take the next two weeks. Major props to that guy. We are both going to be super pleased when this whole "law school" thing is over. ;)

But yes, our home... our beautiful, beautiful home that we poured ourselves into and completely transformed the last three years... it's now a memory. And I'm OK with that, I think. I haven't shed a single tear (yet). It just wasn't right for us anymore. We were living beyond our means while Matthew is in school, and piling on so much more stress than necessary, so we're downsizing to something smaller and more affordable but lovely just the same. The new home won't be built until early fall (FINGERS CROSSED), so until that time, we are living with my mom and Norman (the basset-weinie), and we are so, sooooo grateful to be here. There will be lots of adjusting and tweaking to do (most notably with Gracie and Cooper, who want to slap Norman on a bun with a little ketchup, mustard, and relish and eat him for dinner), but we will manage and I think we might even have FUN. Thank God for family, especially when you even really like each other.

So that, my friends, is my confession. The little secret I've been keeping. Feels good to get it off my chest! I can't wait to continue sharing this crazy, beautiful life with all of you... there's so much more good to come.

Here's a few phone photos I snapped of the house when we finally got every last bit of our stuff out... it looked so pretty, and of course I felt a twinge of sadness... but then I remembered what a bitch it was to keep clean, and didn't feel so sad anymore. ;)

Goodbye, house. It's been real.

If you're new around these parts, check out some house tour posts from the past! Or take a little trip down memory lane with me....

Master bedroom *you better believe we're redoing that gallery wall in the new house!

Things she told me

I had tears in my eyes as I read your story. I'm so proud of you. I know whatever you want to be, you'll do it.

I love your humanity, compassion, and insight. I love you not only because you're my granddaughter, but because you're full of all the qualities I admire most. You have many more great qualities, but those are ones I treasure most. You are a treasure and a real person.

Hugs,

Grandma Peggy

I've been reading old emails and comments from my Grandma, and this one stood out as possibly the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me and something I want to live up to the rest of my life. She wrote this back in 2008, on one of my old blogs that approximately two people read (my mom and my grandma). She has always been one of my biggest supporters. I realize that more fully now, which makes it hurt so much more deeply that she's gone. To lose that kind of light in your life--that kind of person who loves you how you need to be loved and is such a part of your history. It's a giant chasm that no one else can fill. Last night my mom came home from Oregon, and she gave me a bottle of my Grandma's favorite perfume, the one I remember her always smelling like. L'Air du Temps. Fragrances can so powerfully evoke the memory of a person. I pulled off the cap and breathed it in, and then came the tears.

* * * * *

Do you realize how much your words can mean to someone? The things you say and do, the trail you leave in your life... they are your legacy. You can change the world with them. You can change people, and that's the same thing as changing the world. Lately I've been more keenly aware of the trail I leave behind me. The things people will remember me by when I'm gone.

Humanity, compassion, and insight. Powerful words, and I can't tell you how much it means to know she saw those things somewhere in me...

Easter 2013

April first, already? How can that be?

Thank you all for the very kind and encouraging comments and emails after the loss of my Grandma. I needed the break last week, and I think I now need, equally, to get back to work and back to the blog. These are things that make me happy and give me purpose, and when I don't do them, I feel lost.

So, Easter! I'll kick off the new week with some photos from yesterday. We spent the afternoon with Matthew's family at their new lake house, and it really was a wonderfully relaxing time. It's already getting HOT here in Texas, and after yesterday, I now have an awesome face and lower-arm sunburn to show for it.

And since I'm not quite ready to say anything too profound (obviously), I'll let the photos do the rest of the talking...